So the story goes, and I know this may be a stretch, but it’s worth a few moments of your eyeballs directly focused on the task at hand. Conspiracy Theories have taken a new life of their own and I laugh at most as I hear people thinking that Jesse Ventura is making valid points. I laugh that he is, or was, a Governor for that matter.
First a very odd series of events have led to much speculation. The facts:
- King James leaves town, people get sad, mad etc. I was glad he left, I want an NHL team here.
- Dangeroushockey engages Mr. James with a series of “Tweets” Many of them in jest, many of them stern, many of them silly.
- The King ignores all direct tweets from Dangeroushockey…..or does he?
- King James or @kingjames tweets the message “”Crazy. Karma is a b****.. Gets you every time. Its not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!”
- On the morning of December 31, 2010 (NEW YEAR’S EVE) the following nearly explosive event happens at my front door:
STAY WITH ME NOW, THIS MAY BE YOU NEXT!
At approximately 9:30 AM, I was driving down my street when my neighbors puppy darted out at my car. Fortunately, being fully aware of the road, I saw the dog the entire time and made certain not to hit this dog or even come close ( i love animals).
Approximately 9:40am, a knock at my door. It’s my neighbor! He had DRIVEN 2 driveways, to my house. I answered with my 8-year-old daughter in doorway. “Hey” I said. As I thought he was coming to apologize, or thank me, for NOT HITTING HIS DOG.
Instead, he was enraged. He began swearing at me, screaming at me (at this point I closed the door and ordered my daughter inside) accusing me of “Almost hitting his dog and NOT EVEN CARING.”
I tried multiple times to calmly explain to him that the exact opposite happened. He wanted nothing to hear of it. He kept raising his voice, threatening me physically, making insane, unsubstantiated accusations at 9:40am on NEW YEARS EVE. “Was he drunk?” many wondered as I retold the story.
After trying calmly to explain the reality of the situation I realize he was not hearing it. He was there for one reason. Now that I realized this guy was not rational and that he posed a potentially serious threat to my family, I got in full Deryk Engelland mode. I was pissed. I ordered him to leave my yard before I called the cops.
He resisted only slightly as I guess that even though I’m a fat, has been of a hockey player, I still exude the grit and potential fearlessness of one. He walked to his car, told me that he was going to “tell all the neighbors on me so I won’t have any friends.” and left.
My family was scared. My son could care less, he was building Legos and said he would kick the guys ass if I didn’t. He’s 6. And he meant it.
As they days went by and I told the story to more and more people, there was a common theme. It didn’t add up. It just didn’t. Why? Why? Then someone was mentioning all of these conspiracy theories. The dying birds, the underground military, the secret tunnel to Hawaii. Crazy sh&#. Was Matt Barnaby involved? I lay awake at night. Wondering. Theorizing. Then I read the LeBron tweet. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Could I have been set up? I mean @kingjames has over a million loyal followers. Hmmm, again, I thought. I replayed the event in my mind. Could the dog have been a trained actor? I’ve never seen the dog before and have not seen it since. Why did this seemingly nice guy, SNAP at 9:30 am on my ONLY day off? Also only to disappear?Coincidence?
Unidentified local authorities had no answers either. They basically told me not to fight with my neighbors and that in this day and age, anything is possible. Why would the King want me dead? Well, he is the “King.” And Dangeroushockey has been vocally opposed to his rule for years.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I hummed. Was the tweet a subliminal message for some crazy fan to take me out? A signal? Was this guy there to kill me? Hope that I engaged him in a conflict that left me dead or severely injured? Could he have been trained military? Martial Arts? or even worse MIXED MARTIAL ARTS? Or even the WORST, Chuck Norris? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Hell, I don’t know. But I will tell you all this, Jesse Ventura, if you read this, please contact me for your next show. I’ll be sure to watch them all from now on.
PS: Just think if King James did really send a message out to 1.6 million people to take out his enemies. Wonder what would happen? Bleed Hockey you sickos. If anyone is still reading, you’re a trooper.
Peace and Love,
Even to you crazy neighbor and Kingjames. I actually get a kick out of James now. He’s a goofy kid but he’ll grow up. Smell ya later.