Hockey North America, one of the most respected and organized “Men’s Leagues” around got a taste of Dangeroushockey as my Cleveland Rebels put a beating on the 1st place “Martians.”  It wasn’t the 7-3 score that this story is so much about.   Which could have easily been 17-3 if not for solid play by Martians Goalie (Adam Christian).

The rest of his team,  were the biggest bunch of punks I’ve ever faced in 30 years of hockey.  First shift, I swear on my kids I’m not making this up, a guy accused me of KICKING him.  It was all downhill from there, for them. I find out later they BY FAR

"Um, anyone see our spaceship?"

lead league in penalties.

Here’s the rub, (and honestly, I’m not certain why it seemed this way) but was I the only one on my team to stand up to them?  Granted I was on the “skilled line” and since I have few, I just did my job clogging up the middle so my guys can skate around their goon pylons and score at will.  Which they did.

For these scoring liberties, I took at least 7-8 cross checks, 1-2 sticks to the face/neck, 1 fierce baseball swing slash across my shin, and at least 9-12 semi threats to fight.  But every threat with the exception of 1, was by 3 guys at a time.  The funny part is they would get in my face, all tough, circling me, surrounding me, but nobody had the crackers to do a goddamn thing.  Unless it was with a weapon or a cheap shot.

They were “pissed” because I “ran the goalie” in a Men’s league.  The fact is, I was on a 2 on 1.  The pass came to my backhand in tight.  I looked down to play the puck and we collided.  Net moved, he goes down, everyone’s mad at Dangeroushockey.  I immediately asked goal if he was OK.  “Yes, he says.” Then again, all his so-called tough guys got in my face.  Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah……..I just laughed.  As I knew I was safer than a baby in a womb from these yappies.

Literally it was 3 at a time.  Nowhere were my guys, either I missed it, or they thought differently about the situation (which I goddamn doubt and hope that’s not the case although nobody really talked to me after game which hurt my feelings).  But here I am, half shield (which I wear up) out of shape, fatigued from a potentially debilitating and even (rarely) deadly illness these guys are all chirpy like little schoolgirls.  But not one “Space Alien” not a single ray gun holding one-eyed Martian…..

"We can't stop them, this does not compute."

wanted to do anything manly.  Again blind side hits, using their sticks as weapons.  Maybe it’s an outer space thing? All got shoved back in their asses.

I took a fucking beating yesterday.  But in the end, I literally kicked the living crap out of practically that entire team without drawing 1 legitimate penalty (the refs thought otherwise and called 3).  However, I drew 7 or 8.  Irony, they keep throwing out “men’s league, men’s league” while acting like little children.  Both in their actions and their fear.

The highlight was when 1 guy standing at his bench with 20 guys behind him as I was being shoved in the penalty box (which I swear I didn’t know how to open and pissed off Referee man) this older dude yells “Wanna take me on?  Center Ice right now.”  I didn’t know if he wanted to fight me or fuck me.  Either way, normally I’d be game but I was tired and being shoved for the 3rd time in the box.  Plus I only have on hand, so I’m at a slim disadvantage should I get in my 1st “hockey fight” in 30 years.

The rules are screwy in the HNA league.  One fight your automatically suspended but one baseball swing to a knee or one cross check to my throat, 2 minutes!~ I gotta tell you on the heels of getting a significant health scare yesterday, I was full of life after last night’s game.  Right from the opening shift when some guy pushes me over, lands on me.  I try to get up and he claims I “kicked him.”

"Red Card, Kick to Face"

Yea, I kicked him.  I mean the older I get, the more stupid I think this world is sometimes.  I went out there and kicked a guy with my skate?    What a jaggoff…”you kicked me.”  Are we all in 3rd grade?

I suppose this blog won’t bode well for my safety next game.  But the story had to be told. I literally think their entire team tried, and failed at taking me out.  Although the one guy did ask.

Peace and see you later,

VERY Dangeroushockey:)
Be safe and cool on the ice.

"You never got me down Ray, never knocked me down."