Hockey North America, one of the most respected and organized “Men’s Leagues” around got a taste of Dangeroushockey as my Cleveland Rebels put a beating on the 1st place “Martians.” It wasn’t the 7-3 score that this story is so much about. Which could have easily been 17-3 if not for solid play by Martians Goalie (Adam Christian).
The rest of his team, were the biggest bunch of punks I’ve ever faced in 30 years of hockey. First shift, I swear on my kids I’m not making this up, a guy accused me of KICKING him. It was all downhill from there, for them. I find out later they BY FAR
lead league in penalties.
Here’s the rub, (and honestly, I’m not certain why it seemed this way) but was I the only one on my team to stand up to them? Granted I was on the “skilled line” and since I have few, I just did my job clogging up the middle so my guys can skate around their goon pylons and score at will. Which they did.
For these scoring liberties, I took at least 7-8 cross checks, 1-2 sticks to the face/neck, 1 fierce baseball swing slash across my shin, and at least 9-12 semi threats to fight. But every threat with the exception of 1, was by 3 guys at a time. The funny part is they would get in my face, all tough, circling me, surrounding me, but nobody had the crackers to do a goddamn thing. Unless it was with a weapon or a cheap shot.
They were “pissed” because I “ran the goalie” in a Men’s league. The fact is, I was on a 2 on 1. The pass came to my backhand in tight. I looked down to play the puck and we collided. Net moved, he goes down, everyone’s mad at Dangeroushockey. I immediately asked goal if he was OK. “Yes, he says.” Then again, all his so-called tough guys got in my face. Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah……..I just laughed. As I knew I was safer than a baby in a womb from these yappies.
Literally it was 3 at a time. Nowhere were my guys, either I missed it, or they thought differently about the situation (which I goddamn doubt and hope that’s not the case although nobody really talked to me after game which hurt my feelings). But here I am, half shield (which I wear up) out of shape, fatigued from a potentially debilitating and even (rarely) deadly illness these guys are all chirpy like little schoolgirls. But not one “Space Alien” not a single ray gun holding one-eyed Martian…..
wanted to do anything manly. Again blind side hits, using their sticks as weapons. Maybe it’s an outer space thing? All got shoved back in their asses.
I took a fucking beating yesterday. But in the end, I literally kicked the living crap out of practically that entire team without drawing 1 legitimate penalty (the refs thought otherwise and called 3). However, I drew 7 or 8. Irony, they keep throwing out “men’s league, men’s league” while acting like little children. Both in their actions and their fear.
The highlight was when 1 guy standing at his bench with 20 guys behind him as I was being shoved in the penalty box (which I swear I didn’t know how to open and pissed off Referee man) this older dude yells “Wanna take me on? Center Ice right now.” I didn’t know if he wanted to fight me or fuck me. Either way, normally I’d be game but I was tired and being shoved for the 3rd time in the box. Plus I only have on hand, so I’m at a slim disadvantage should I get in my 1st “hockey fight” in 30 years.
The rules are screwy in the HNA league. One fight your automatically suspended but one baseball swing to a knee or one cross check to my throat, 2 minutes!~ I gotta tell you on the heels of getting a significant health scare yesterday, I was full of life after last night’s game. Right from the opening shift when some guy pushes me over, lands on me. I try to get up and he claims I “kicked him.”
Yea, I kicked him. I mean the older I get, the more stupid I think this world is sometimes. I went out there and kicked a guy with my skate? What a jaggoff…”you kicked me.” Are we all in 3rd grade?
I suppose this blog won’t bode well for my safety next game. But the story had to be told. I literally think their entire team tried, and failed at taking me out. Although the one guy did ask.
Peace and see you later,
Be safe and cool on the ice.